Graduate School Statement Template Page 7
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mention your poor first-quarter grades briefly, then describe what you did to bring them
up.
6. Do Vary Your Sentences and Use Transitions.
The best essays contain a variety of sentence lengths mixed within any given
paragraph. Also, remember that transition is not limited to words like nevertheless,
furthermore or consequently. Good transition flows from the natural thought progression
of your argument.
Before: I started playing piano when I was eight years old. I worked hard to learn difficult
pieces. I began to love music.
After: I started playing the piano at the age of eight. As I learned to play more difficult
pieces, my appreciation for music deepened.
7. Do Use Active Voice Verbs
Passive-voice expressions are verb phrases in which the subject receives the action
expressed in the verb. Passive voice employs a form of the word to be, such as was or
were. Overuse of the passive voice makes prose seem flat and uninteresting.
Before: The lessons that have prepared me for my graduate studies were taught to me
by my mother.
After: My mother taught me lessons that will prove invaluable as I pursue my research
interests.
8. Do Seek Multiple Opinions.
Ask your friends and family to keep these questions in mind:
Does my essay have one central theme?
Does my introduction engage the reader? Does my conclusion provide closure?
Do my introduction and conclusion avoid summary?
Do I use concrete experiences as supporting details?
Have I used active-voice verbs wherever possible?
Is my sentence structure varied, or do I use all long or short sentences?
Are there any cliches such as "cutting edge" or "learned my lesson?"
Do I use transitions appropriately?
What about the essay is memorable?
What's the worst part of the essay?
What parts of the essay need elaboration or are unclear?
What parts of the essay do not support my main argument?
Is every single sentence crucial to the essay? This must be the case.
What does the essay reveal about my personality?
9. Don't Wander. Do Stay Focused.
The Writing Center: Writing a Grad School Personal Statement
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